Pandora, The death of your son may have triggered your h's crisis. I strongly advise you not to involve others in the situation. Your h will look at this as pressure and control issues. The more someone tells him not to do something, the more likely he will do it, i.e., just like talking to a child about things.
If you feel good about your detaching, then stay the course.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
