...and it is another test to see if she can get you to do her bidding. She is testing to see how under her thumb you remain. You have past the test by resisting.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
man that's frustrating. I also found out tonight that she's actually involved with 2 OM online/phone.
Both of them from the last time this happened. I do know 100% that she did stop talking to them before, but has started back up again with all 3 going at the same time.
Well, I guess I more or less expected this to happen. She noticed that I took the amount of my paycheck that went in the bank on Friday out of our account. I started getting power called around 10 this morning, followed my a stream of very angry texts. "I need half the 'effing money for the GD mortgage. Stuff like that. Is it genuine anger or is it her just lashing out at me because I'm actually taking the steps to move on with my life? One thing her mom did say to me was that she's almost certain that this is the first time anyone, male or female has stood up to her and not let her have her way, and she said that she has to admit that includes her as her mom. She always ended up caving or backing down when the W still lived at home as a teenager. So, she said to expect her to be really pissed off at me.
Hard to call. Don't worry about analyzing every breath. She probably does need money to pay the mortgage. That seems completely reasonable.
Remember, standing up to her does not mean being punitive or dicky, just strong and confident. Don't play games just to screw with her. Do NOT let her walk over you but do not antagonize her. Even if you kick her to the curb (two snaps up), you are doing it because you will not tolerate a cheating wife not because you are trying to mess with her.
Why don't you pay the mortgage yourself. Wouldn't that be a 180?
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Oh yeah, mortgage is a big deal, but she also knows that I'm not about to ruin my credit by screwing her. Which I made very clear to her. That I'm doing what I need to do in order to take care of myself and taking my money and putting it into a new separate account is what needs to happen in order for me to move on. I calmly assured her that I'm not going to screw her and that I'm going to be paying 1/2 of everything until this is resolved.
Hmm, not a bad idea actually. I make more than enough to pay it with my own money. Excellent suggestion.
W just sent me a message saying that she needed work clothes and wanted to know when I wasn't going to be here so that she could come by and get them. So, I guess that means she has no intention of coming back home anytime soon. Looks like I've got some more time to myself to work on some things.
It sucks to see us falling apart, but hey, that's life, right? All I can do is keep working on myself.
Why don't you pay the mortgage yourself. Wouldn't that be a 180?
how would paying the entire mortgage himself help in this situation?
Confused, who owns the home? Are you both home owners, are both of your names on the mortgage? If so, pay your half of the mortgage and bills and that should be all that's expected from you. If you've been downgraded to role of roommate while your wife pursues other men, don't feel bad about just paying half, alot of men make the mistake of paying for everything hoping that by showing they are good providers that will win their wives back and it never works so don't fall for that trap.
W just sent me a message saying that she needed work clothes and wanted to know when I wasn't going to be here so that she could come by and get them. So, I guess that means she has no intention of coming back home anytime soon. Looks like I've got some more time to myself to work on some things.
It sucks to see us falling apart, but hey, that's life, right? All I can do is keep working on myself.
stop mind reading, and don't reply to the texts, she's just sending out feelers that's all. Ignore her, you can read her texts but don't feel the need to reply. She's a big girl, if she needs something from the home, she can go home and pick up whatever she needs, you aren't her maid or personal secretary and if she comes home trying to start a fight, don't get sucked into it.
