Thanks you everyone. My friends' support here has been and continues to be so appreciated. I love you guys!
I'm home now, back from my trip. I felt a lot better while I was gone, it feels like a weight is now back on me. My mom was a little concerned because I didn't talk much about my trip when I was picking up Jazzie and Chester yesterday. I had a good time, I really did, but I just don't have much to say about it for some reason, and I don't know why.
I had emailed Mom and Dad some pics from our afternoon in Galveston, including the one that's my new FB image. She printed them off to give to Grandma and my Aunt, and they said that they hadn't seen me look that happy in a long time (I am smiling in those pics!) So obviously, something is different here, I'm just not sure what it is because I thought I had been doing well and people have told me I am more relaxed since the split.
Item #2: While I was gone, Stbx admitted to D17 that he is indeed seeing someone. On one level, it doesn't bother me; on another level, it does feel like a kick in the gut. Whatever, he can do what he wants, just keep her out of the house because the kids aren't ready to handle that yet.
I wonder if he told her of his need for "variety", because if it wasn't personal to me, then no reason he wouldn't have been upfront with her about it, right? (yeah, right...) How long can he stay with one woman before the novelty wears off and he needs another? If that's not the case, he lied to me because then it was something personal about me and he was too much of a coward to let me go. How was it better to drag me through that crap instead of just getting a divorce and finding someone else and letting me find someone who will treat me right?
I would love to be a fly on the wall and hear his version of events and reasons for the split as he tells them to close confidants. I'm pretty damn sure he leaves that part out, or if he does include it, I "lied" about my true feelings about swinging and strung him along. Most likely he leaves that out and focuses on my alleged anxiety and self-esteem issues and how he just couldn't "help" me anymore. Whatever...
Item #3 I wanna move south eventually. The people here are very friendly and it's a relatively cheap place to live, but these gray skies are so depressing. I can handle cold and snow if the sun is out, but Cleveland is one of the cloudiest cities in the country. I guess we have lake-effect clouds just like we have lake-effect snow. I need sunshine, and everything just seemed more relaxed in the southern states. A fresh start sounds really good.
Item #4 Stbx still hasn't countered my counter to his financial proposal. I'll ask him about it later this week if I don't hear anything in the next few days.
