still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[WhatNow]

oh yeah! All the sucking and blowing talk! Wild Sat nite! Shop Vacs!! Whoo Hoo!

nm, See if there is a MOMS Club in your area. They will set you up with a playgroup with babies of the same age. I developed life long friends by doing that. (well at least 15 years so far, and 5 of the babes are still friends in the 10th grade!) Most are SAHMs but the talk is usually centered on the kids anyway. If you don't gel with one, try another, or Start one! They usually meet at a park or take turns at homes. It is fun!

[newmama]

Thanks WhatNow- do you think they have single moms in that club? I do have a regular group but they know nothing of my real life.

I have decided that I was wanting to date for the wrong reasons-loneliness- I will occupy myself with other activities and date when I am ready for the potential of liking someone enough to build a relationship with them.

Alas I am no longer wild and free like I was in my 20s and just not able to emotionally be casual if you know what I mean.

However, I WILL keep up the mystery lol!

[courageous wife]

Sounds good NM!

[WhatNow]

Thanks WhatNow- do you think they have single moms in that club? I do have a regular group but they know nothing of my real life.

IDK. Depends on the chapter. I was in one that was primarily fund-raising. I wasn't interested in selling candy bars door-to-door to cover my admission to the zoo or for Komen, so I switched. I could handle that on my own. The playgroup was only one aspect tho. They also went on weekly visits to local places, monthly meetings, in the large group with all ages of kids. We did things for us and took turns group babysitting. Loads of resources. Do you have a gymboree nearby?

"I have decided that I was wanting to date for the wrong reasons-loneliness- I will occupy myself with other activities and date when I am ready for the potential of liking someone enough to build a relationship with them.

Alas I am no longer wild and free like I was in my 20s and just not able to emotionally be casual if you know what I mean.

However, I WILL keep up the mystery lol! "

I know what you mean. It would be a great self-esteem builder, too. Too messy for me right now. I did post a profile on Match but didn't subscribe. That alone was fun. I was able to see what was out there that would be interested in me. My girlfriends have taken me to the nightclubs but it is cougarville where I live. If I want a fun night of no strings S or a boy toy, I know where to go!

I still feel married. Once I go down that path (seeing other men) I don't think I would ever turn back and in the long run, I would end up lonelier.

Sooner than you think, you will be involved with cub scouts, soccer and baseball and pre-school!

[newmama]

Sooner than you think, you will be involved with cub scouts, soccer and baseball and pre-school!

Yes but I will not be in limbo by then!!!!

[flowmom]

I would also like to meet some single parents. It's going to take time before I feel comfortable hanging out with my mom friends who are all happily married.

I found that it never clicked for me to hang out with random moms. I had to really seek out mothers who had similar interests and who I clicked with. I joined the local "tribe" thread at mothering.com and after chatting for months, I started to meet up with them IRL and formed wonderful friendships. I felt known and accepted the way that sometimes happens in a forum, but being able to deepen the connections IRL made it into a rich base for friendship and connection. I knew much more about these women because of the self-disclosure on the internet, and I could figure out who I clicked with before even meeting them. I hosted some playdates once I felt more comfortable in the internet community.

Good for you for recognizing your loneliness.

I suggest that you start a yahoogroup or meetup group and post some signs in your neighbourhood looking for similar-minded mothers. Organize park days and see who shows up. You don't have much to lose and having the support of other parents can really help.

Maybe I should follow my own advice and start a single parent group .

[newmama]

I will check out mothering.com as well! got some projects to do now- I do feel kinda bad that I will only be a SAHM for the next 4 months so I don't know if that matters- but I'll always be a mom!

Yes the single mothers meetup idea is a good one and I have thought of it- but would rather wait to start one till I am public to my real life friends.

My self tanner (Jergen's) has taken effect and now I have a nice warm glow but not orange! It doesn't smell weird either. And just finished working out- next going to get an ice cream cone at McDonald's and visit my g-ma.

WH is here but just took S out to Costco- he actually said "I just want to get him out, you know? Is that fine?" or something like that- wtf? it is his time to do stuff with him!

At least now that he has gone to the swim class with him alone twice, he is comfortable and will do it again next Fri (his day off this week). I told him that he could just take S whenever since he has him that night and then I can go do something and leave earlier. I didn't tell him what!

Ok off to take a shower- FM you should definitely start up that group-I am still surprised one doesn't exist.

[newmama]

I left before WH came back so I sent him a text "going to g-ma's. see you guys later!" yeah should have said "going out" I know. Oops- sometimes I am too honest! Well I came home and he had picked up a cute outfit for S and some Elmo books and some dry erase markers for me (for teaching). I was definitely appreciative- I always get a couple of packs when they have them at Costco! Well then I told him my g-ma wants to get a laptop and asked if he had seen any ads. He said "oh is that where you went?" (wtf? I sent him a text that said that!! duh!) and then he was bubbling over with news about S.

I mentioned how I didn't pick up the mail and he went out to get it. I received some VS catalogs and it has been probably 3 weeks since I got any. Usually I get one per week! I was starting to wonder if he had been tossing them or something since he is the one who gets the mail usually lol! Guess not-he could have tossed these ones if that was the case.

My g-ma told me I am looking so skinny these days which made me feel good- I have 22 pounds to go still but I have lost 58 so far!

As soon as WH had arrived, I started working out and he left for Costco as I was doing so. I left before he and S returned. So I only saw him for maybe 20 minutes top!

Now I see the side yard needs to be mowed so will figure out how to use the lawnmower and do it! The deck will need to be finished a little later- the tree still will drop pollen all over it so why keep rescrubbing it? I will wait for another few weeks when the flowers are gone I think!

[flowmom]

Interesting that your H seems to be "business as usual".

Way to go on the weight loss! That is a lot to lose.

[newmama]

I checked out mothering.com but saw that it was for "natural" parenting- I don't know what that is but I don't use a method- I am worried about not connecting with those moms! FM what can you tell me? I am the kind of person who respects the philosophy of others even if I don't agree but I am worried about being rejected if I don't agree KWIM?

And the moms chapter for my area did not have a link for joining so I emailed and inquired.