By the way TrentC, she needs to earn his trust - not the other way around.
I don't see it as an "either/or" propostion, actually. OIN's self-described controlling and emotionally abusive tendencies still need to be dealt with. She needs to be able to trust HIM as well.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement