Just found out she already filed

[flowmom]

Great post OldFool. Wise words for many of us to heed.

SR, I'm guessing that your wife is totally aware of your yearning to reconcile with her. If you really were moving on with your life you wouldn't be offering to pay costo bills and things like that. You may not be a good faker, in which case you'll have to actually do the work of detaching and trying to imagine a rich, fulfilling life as a divorced father. I know how hard it is to wrap your mind around that...I have the same problem. But you and I are in the same boat: it's all about coparenting and there's NO evidence of doubts, second thoughts, or any emotional engagement on the part of the WAS. It's time to face our worst fears and figure out how we're going to deal with them. I've gotten a lot of 2x4s on my thread about focusing too much on my H. And it's true that we need all our energy to take care of ourselves right now and to do everything we can to move forward as people, for ourselves and for our children.

hugs!