hello all. first some history. i'm 30, married for 2 and half years and recently divorced a 28yo woman. No kids.
Ever since we got married we stopped doing all the things that made us fall in love in the first place. And we became more focused on other things such as work. Things naturally started to deteriorate and we couldn't reverse it.
Some time ago she stated she wanted the divorce but I still wanted to give it another try. Didn't work out and after nasty discussions I wanted the divorce as well.
The divorce process was nasty too with accusations, name calling (...)on both sides. We were capable coming to civil terms and can talk relatively well now. She suggested, before all the nasty discussions, that maybe we could be friends but after all the nastiness (will explain better below) she now says she needs time before considering the possibility.
Now, after some lawyer tried to take advantage of her, we were able to talk and got the divorce ourselves. The only thing missing is our apartment which we are going to put on the market tomorrow.
It's been 6 months since we separated, 3 weeks after divorce is final and I now realize that, despite all, I want her back. This is not something in the spur of the moment. It's something I gave much thought to.
As I said before she wanted us to be friends but in one discussion I totally lost it and behaved very very poorly (she had some fault but will never admit any). So, when i asked her if i could call her in a few months and maybe become friends she replied maybe but its too soon to tell (which i can accept as we both need time to heal).
If she does agree to see me (hopefully becoming friends) how should i proceed? I've read a few e-books (don't really trust them) stating that these should be emotionally charged dates. I don't want to appear too needy or go in too strong as I think it will blow on my face. Also the main problem will be that she became (even before the divorce) emotionally closed to me. I have no idea how to overcome that. Plus she's incredibly stubborn and proud.
If we go out and simply have fun I fear the only result will be a casual friendship or little more. I know how to romance her but only after the beginning. I have no idea how to make her even consider the possibility of a new relationship with me.
Also I realize we need some time apart (these months don't really count) to heal and see other people but I fear I might lose her to someone else.
