She was just trying to [censored] with me and I guess a few beers is what I needed to finally speak up. This is what I said to her after she did in fact prove to me that she's staying at her moms house: "Ok, I don't know why you had to lie to me, other than to [censored] with me. I'm not playing games anymore. This is retarded. Were [censored] adults and yeah, I was a spineless bitch for far too long and I let you and everyone else walk over me, but not anymore. I'm done with being a passive little bitch. I know what I want and how I deserve to be treated and this isn't it, so You can either accept that I've grown the [censored] up and never getting pushed around again or you can keep acting like this until the divorce is final. I'll see you on Sunday. "
Truth be told bro, we can't even accept that you've grown, the transformation from wussy to man doesn't usually happen overnight and your wife knows that along with the rest of us.
Aside from all the enjoyable expletives that were added to the msg, it was a good one, my only issue is that you're still putting the ball in her court to "accept that you've grown", although it's indirect, it's still a form of seeking approval on your part. You don't need her approval, if she's with the other guy, you've had your "awakening", it's ok for her to be with him, you want her to be with him because you don't want anyone who doesn't want to be with you, life is too short, there's a 1000 like her and only 1 of you, with odds like that, you'll be OK ;-)
That's the attitude to have. I know some may disagree but showing a WAW that you want to fight for your marriage sets her up with the feeling that she's the prize and that 2 men will compete for her: the affair partner aka the OM and you. Remove yourself from the competition, you won't fight for her, you're not the 2nd option, you are always the 1st choice in your life and if she doesn't see you as the first choice in her life, it's her loss and time for you to move on to someone smarter - that's the attitude to have. Never compete with the OM for your wife, it's the wrong message and you'll continue to jump through hoops in an attempt to win back your wife and that's a $hitty life to live.
He didn't grow. He grew beer balls for a few hours. Still a step in the right direction. Better than no balls at all.
You don't need her approval. It is a subtle difference. You will know it when you get there. Still if you can just stand your ground, that is progress.
CG whatcha gonna do now?
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
Well, I've had a busy day today. Hung out with a friend to watch cavs/bulls game, did some car work, got my run in, prob heading out around 9 to meet some work friends. She's tried calling and texting me since around 4 this morning. No replies to her at all. Mostly are you there's, a goodnight, and then around 5 or so tonight, she asked me if I could bring our car to her moms and she could bring me back home. That her mom and step dad weren't going to get home until late and she didn't have anything to eat there. Well, I ignored her and about 10 minutes later I get "why are you being such a effing prick about this? It's my effing car too." so, all I did was reply "I am not going to allow you to talk to me like that. Figure it out on your own." and haven't gotten anything from her since.
If I recall it is NOT her car too. Correct? She has no drivers license is that right? Yeah, you're a total f'in prick. You won't loan your wayward, unlicensed and therefore uninsured wife your car. The nerve of some guys.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
haha, I know right? I'm such a jerk! I'm about 99% sure it has to do with the fact that she looked at the bank statement online and saw a bar on the pending charges from last night and is probably trying to stop me from going out again tonight. boo hoo, maybe if she wasn't so lazy and scared to take a driving test that 16 year olds can pass, she would have a case.
Think about that more now than ever. She should never have been driving your car and especially not now. Imagine she runs over a kid? You will be paying for that (in more ways than one) for the rest of your life. She should not drive that car at all ever. Even if you were on good term, you are nuts if you let her drive it.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
yeah, I mean there's like a 1 in a million odds of that happening. . .but yeah. More realistically though, all she has to do is get stopped for any reason by a cop and she's arrested and the car's impounded. She used to drive back and forth from home to work. Before we moved, we were literally less than a mile of neighborhood street from her office, so that, while not ideally smart, didn't seem that crazy. But, I don't think she's driven in about 2 years now.
Oh, and she sent me a message that just said "don't worry, I made soup."
She must be getting bored since I just got a text asking how our cat's doing.
oh, I forgot to mention that I did talk to MIL this morning. She had some interesting comments. Apparently my W had been bitching at work to her BF about the whole internet thing, well, afterwards, my MIL, who knows the whole story, pulled her BF aside and told her what was going on to which she said that she's not surprised and that made a lot of sense to her. Then her BF told my MIL that my W had "ordered" her to not mention one word about the OM to her mom. Just thought that was amusing.
