you are 100% right. I do want my M to work. H doesnt. I am fighting all alone, so i tend to lose hope a lot. Everything i read says leave him alone, NC, so why cant i just do it! i am going to re read the Detachment papers tonight too. Will start re reading DB and DR too. I really need to find the stregnth to go dark. I really need to work on me. i am always blaming H for my feelings and my life, but i need to take control of my life again and enjoy it. Even if its different than how i/we always imagined.
Its just not fair that H always wants things his way... first he leaves without ever giving me an inch of notice then files for D when i can barely stop crying to notice he really left, and then wants to be friends for his own selfish needs? it makes me angrier to know that he sees no wrong in any of this. why would you want to be friends with someone and spend time w them, yet you wouldnt want to reconcile or work on your marriage together?
you are right... what is 3 weeks? 3 weeks to repair my M is not a long time(if not repair, get H to want to repair) or 3 weeks to regain my stegnth and control over my life and my happiness...
i need to get strong... dont want to cry over him when the baby is born... at least not how i cry now... and i need to be strong for myself. dont want to get post pardum...
Jstar, you wrote above how against your words and thoughts, when the time came you invited your H to be in the delivery. I would love to have H there and he knows that... i also have told H a thousand times that he will miss his son's first breath and entrance to the new world. I think he thinks i cant stick to my word. I am a sucker! Because he knows im not that kind of person.
A couple of weeks after H left... he told me... one day you will forgive me because its me...
that is just the way that i always am... no grudges, heart on my sleeve, i do anything to make anyone else happy...
