Right now your wife is playing "scorpion" with you, you are the whipping boy, and OM is "her man". You also help out with the kids and financially and when she needs a pick me up. Many of her "pick me ups" is just treating you mean or saying messed up stuff.
You got alot of advice, but many of these are from people doing this out of the "good realm" her family is in the "bad realm" and its a entirely different ballgame.
I just see you as a loving husband whose trying to show his wife he loves her, and will take her back. Your doing what feels natural to do, but it doesn't work in the situatoin.
Many of the people here will not know how bad you got it or what type of lady your dealing with, they just can't relate.
I can, I know what kind it is. Just remember, its not your fault.
You do need to 180 and GAL though, contact is not helping you and not going to for a while. I believe in your GAL you will have dates - and your going to have to find a way to have your full confidence OUTSIDE of the situation with your wife. You cannot value or look at yourself the way she does.
Alot of women out there would feel lucky to have a guy just like you are today. remember that.
Alot of women have told her she was lucky to have me but it's not all her fault either man. We have both inflicted hurt and pain on each other in every aspect. We have both verbally abused each other.
Her not telling me what is wrong is just as bad as me expressing it in a way that hurts her.
Because when I look at the list up above and then hear what she's stating now it does not add up. I feel like i'm the center of her rage for every problem.
she probably feels the same way.
But I do know alot of this was due to both of us not being healthy mentally physically and emotionally.
The thing is I was tring to be really really patient when she had her nervous breakdown.
now that I'm sick she's on some deal with it on your own stuff.
and city girl? I was by this woman's side every day. She was in an extremely bad mental physical and emotional bad state.
I had to revive her in my arms a few times. I spent days and weeks in the hospital. When she began to go absolutely bonkers I was still there by her side. I went to the mental facility every day.
She absolutely begged me not to quit or give up on her. We were rarely MLing and she was completely like a zombie alot of the time. I mean one time she told me she purposely with holds intimacy from me when she's upset about anything even if it's not about me.
It really hurt and I felt really neglected. I would just ask her for time. That's the only thing I really complained about.
Plus she had a P.A. before. I forgave but it was hard to trust because we rarely touched or ML even though we were always together. Plus although she said she was sorry it just continued to be her telling me to be patient and let her get herself together and me feeling neglected.
She thinks that her E.A. is going to fix things cause it's new. But it's not. And I think she knows it too. The issues havent left. they still exist. Long long before I ever did anything bad to her. She would just start screaming at me and throwing things.
She would ignore SD8 and put all the responsibility on me.
she knows how to push my buttons and that's anothe reason I have to go dark. She pushes my buttons to get the reaction she wants to justify her being away.
I really really think she blames me for SD8 being gone. I have never seen her acting so full of rage.
and all of this has taken a toll on me. Then she exprsses what I'm doing wrong and I'll write it down and try to work on it. Then the next day it's something else. Then something else.
Then she wants to talk and see me when she wants. When she needs me I'm there but when I need her she's not.
Yes I have pushed and been very needy and co dependent but it's just because for so long I went without her attention and affection while she was sick.
She did support me by going to the doctor and appointments with me when I was sick.
But the mental and emotional support was not always there. zshe even admitted it several times. in emails texts and calls.
Yet she just walks away? i'm the bad guy? We both made mistakes.
Last edited by james217; 04/17/1010:50 PM.
waw 36 (spiritual covenant and common law marriage)me 32 together 13 mos. Bomb dropped march 2nd 2010
children SD (8) S (10) S (3) need help from anyone with my sitch
