thank you THS. H just left. I cut my first lawn. It looks more fun than it actually is..but it was liberating.
H and I spoke for about an hour. He was pretty down. Says he doesn't know if he believes in M. That he regrets what he has done. If he could turn back time..he would have done it differently. Says he is just very unhappy..unhappy with everything. Needs to do something about his job..he may just pick up and move somewhere else- looking at the middle east???? I told him that I don't think I will get married again. He said that I may change my mind when I meet someone that treats me much better than he did..and that won't be hard to do. H doesn't know if this is the right thing to do..but feels like too much damage has been caused by his recklessness. He misses me. He doesn't have many friends. Just complete hopelessness. H says he has only two emotions..happiness and anger.
I feel a little bit better now. I am in a much better spot than him. We hugged long and hard and he left with tears in both of our eyes. I then went and cut the lawn.
