Pass, you're right on that you shouldn't have invited him to your mom's. This weekend was supposed to be about taking care of you, not about your H. You would have had the added effect that he would not like not knowing where you where. Instead, you tried to make him feel better about the horrible way is treating you before you left. That took all the strength out of your position.
Quit thinking about what HE wants, how HE'LL react, even what HE is doing. It's only making you crazy. Start thinking about what you want, what will make you happy. Nothing will work until you put youself first. This isn't about him. It's really about YOU.
Also, you aren't ready for strategy right now. Quit thinking Bo Peep, Ghandi, etc. If an opportunity naturally presents itself for time together, take it. Otherwise, give him control of all the things he hasn't had to do because you've filled the gap. Spend that time for yourself. Get out of the house. Take a class, go out with friends, get a hobby. But don't tell him exactly what you're doing. It will drive him crazy and he'll have to face the reality of being a father that he's been running from. Trust me that will draw him to you faster than anything else.
If you see, hear something that upsets you (the FB post), give yourself a time-out. That way he can't push your buttons the way he did last night. As Saffie said, you're not ready for big consequences and that's ok, so ignore it. It's hard, I know, but better for you right now. Take care of YOU!
