She was just trying to [censored] with me and I guess a few beers is what I needed to finally speak up. This is what I said to her after she did in fact prove to me that she's staying at her moms house: "Ok, I don't know why you had to lie to me, other than to [censored] with me. I'm not playing games anymore. This is retarded. Were [censored] adults and yeah, I was a spineless bitch for far too long and I let you and everyone else walk over me, but not anymore. I'm done with being a passive little bitch. I know what I want and how I deserve to be treated and this isn't it, so You can either accept that I've grown the [censored] up and never getting pushed around again or you can keep acting like this until the divorce is final. I'll see you on Sunday. "
Truth be told bro, we can't even accept that you've grown, the transformation from wussy to man doesn't usually happen overnight and your wife knows that along with the rest of us.
Aside from all the enjoyable expletives that were added to the msg, it was a good one, my only issue is that you're still putting the ball in her court to "accept that you've grown", although it's indirect, it's still a form of seeking approval on your part. You don't need her approval, if she's with the other guy, you've had your "awakening", it's ok for her to be with him, you want her to be with him because you don't want anyone who doesn't want to be with you, life is too short, there's a 1000 like her and only 1 of you, with odds like that, you'll be OK ;-)
That's the attitude to have. I know some may disagree but showing a WAW that you want to fight for your marriage sets her up with the feeling that she's the prize and that 2 men will compete for her: the affair partner aka the OM and you. Remove yourself from the competition, you won't fight for her, you're not the 2nd option, you are always the 1st choice in your life and if she doesn't see you as the first choice in her life, it's her loss and time for you to move on to someone smarter - that's the attitude to have. Never compete with the OM for your wife, it's the wrong message and you'll continue to jump through hoops in an attempt to win back your wife and that's a $hitty life to live.
