Need a Plan for My Marriage

[LSG]

idontunderstand,

You hang in there too! I appreciate your kind support. My W was texting and calling and all that until I cancelled the text messaging on our cell phones and blocked his numbers. It was such a relief for the kids and me. We feel a sense of relief because they saw what she was doing. She was angry, and she wants her own phone, or me to put the phones in her name. I told her not a chance. She wanted the car in her name too. I told her not gonna happen.

I feel for you so much. They do lie, and I will expose that. I think he is going to divorce his wife, so I have to do it. I think it will make a difference. I hope so.

I am doing as you suggest.

Please take care of yourself!!!

[LSG]

Just journaling about my day!

The day started by me taking W to work later than usual. It was arount 8:15 am. I dropped her off and we did not say much. I asked what time she wanted to be picked up. It was 5:45 which is about an hour and 15 minutes earlier than usual. She called when I was late, but I did not hear the phone because kids and I had the radio turned up and were having fun together. We left to pick up her contacts and have dinner which was the first dinner out in weeks for all of us. It was packed, so it took a long time to park, and they had already started eating. We had pizza. She and the kids left to play games while I ate by myself. It was not very fun. We shopped for a little while, and she said she was not feeling good so she went in the other room and watched the rest of the dvd from the previous night while the kids and I watched another dvd. My son went in the bedroom after a while. I made cookies we bought for the kids, and they enjoyed them. It was an uncomfortable evening to say the least.

I spoke to my L and asked him to advise me if I should file first or not, and he said it did not matter unless she made some wild accusation. He advised me to go for joint physical custody instead of full physical custody because would not like that. I see the reasoning I suppose. I am more open to this at this time. I will see how I feel about it at a later date. I have not been served, but I feel it will be soon. I am kind of nervous.

I did not find evidence of contact with OM, but I will contact the OMW tomorrow if she is home. I wonder how this will go. I am uncomfortable about it for some reason. I worry about how the OMW will react. I feel bad for her doing this after I know the pain it has caused me, but she has a right to know.

That is all for now.

[LSG]

Well...it was a great start to the morning for me. I had to discuss bills with W. She started a fight after I told her how much we had. I hate to talk to about anything. She is so self righteous about everything. W does not take responsibility for anything. I try to budget and make the money goes as far as possible and it is not very easy.

I did find another possible part-time position, so I am very thankful for that. I am doing my best to have employment to make sure that I have a place to live and somewhere for the kids to to call home with me if she divorces me. I do not plan to have anything less than joint physical custody.

I am still working on staying M, but I have to plan for the worst too.

[antlers]

She is so self righteous about everything. W does not take responsibility for anything.

I do not plan to have anything less than joint physical custody.

My making you responsible for everything...she makes herself responsible for nothing! She convinces herself of something that's not true in order to justify her actions!

Neither did I. And that's how things were filed initially...then she came back and changed it 4 months later seeking sole custody! Now we are in an awful war that nobody wins!

[LSG]

Hi antlers,

Thanks for the comments.

Why did she change the visitation to sole custody 4 months later if you do not mind me asking. How do think that will go over with the courts and the judge?

I hope you are able to fight that new order. I am wondering what W will try to do to me if she files. I will fight for everything!

[LSG]

I plan to contact OMW today. I am not looking forward to this call at all.

[Steve McQueen]

I'd suggest monday morning when her husband is at work.

what do you plan on saying? lets hear the evidence.

[antlers]

Hi antlers,

Thanks for the comments.

Why did she change the visitation to sole custody 4 months later if you do not mind me asking. How do think that will go over with the courts and the judge?

I hope you are able to fight that new order. I am wondering what W will try to do to me if she files. I will fight for everything!

She left our home in Feb. of 2009, and the kids got on a set schedule going back and forth between us. Then she filed in Oct. of 2009...8 months later! In that paperwork, she requested joint custody, and for the kids to continue with the schedule thay had been on ever since she left. Then as I said, 4 months later she changed her custody request to sole custody. Why? Damned if I know. She's been more hateful and vindictive as time goes by, and I think she just wants to hurt me as much as she can. Also, I think it's possible that she thinks if she can get sole custody, then she'll get a bunch more money from me for child support...and also she could take the children and move them out of state with her.
I hope the fact that she requested these changes after our kids have been on the same set schedule for over one year speaks loudly to the courts and the judge.

I am fighting it! That's pissin' her off even more, and it's making her even more vindictive and hateful towards me. Whatever. She's using the kids as a weapon against me...something I thought I'd NEVER see from her. But then, since December of 2008 I've seen and heard lots of things from her that I NEVER thought I'd see and hear.

These things can start out amicable...but they can sure turn mean and nasty!

[LSG]

She works too, so she is not at home during the week.

I have kind of script. I will tell her about the calls and the e-mails, and the convos I have had with her and the marriage counselor had. I am not sure exactly what to tell her about the evidence. I will also tell her about my wife not working when she says and spending the OM. I will also tell her about my wife admitting it. I will ask her to check this out for herself too.

Any suggestions.

I am having a hard time picking up the phone to this today.

[LSG]

Today had been a rollercoaster of a ride for me. I did my type of GALing today and spent time just me and D. It was great for us. Went to the library, and she checked out some books, and I tried to find some books on infidelity, but there were none because the library is small near me. I bought a 2 liter Dr Pepper, and me and daughter finished it in an hour just because. Wife hates soda, so I just did it for fun, and we laughed and enjoyed the time together. I know it is not healthy, but it just felt good to do something for me. W called and for the first time I did not answer the phone. I am sure it pissed her off because I did call her to ask why she spent all the grocery money that I had planned to use for next two weeks.

I start the Census job soon, and I planned to get caught up a little, and buy my son a bike early for his birthday. I am having a friend that will watch the kids for not very much money. It just irritated me that she would do this when I told her how much we had. Then she asked the kids what they wanted for dinner and did not even bother to ask. She is a real class act these day. I always make sure she has dinner ready for her to warm up when she comes home.

I am glad to have a job even if it is temporary. I found another job part-time probably when the Census job is over. I am also waiting for an answer from a full-time position that interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. I talked to the corporate recruiter, and they are still interviewing, so I have a chance. I have applied for so many other jobs too.

I feel that I have let go more to where I really worry more about me and the kids than her.

All she did was stay in the bedroom by herself all night while I watched a movie with the kiddies. It was a lot of fun to spend quality time together. I sure do love my kids!!! They are so sweet!

I have my ups and downs, but more ups than downs these days.

I am curious how does a person know if the affair is over? How does a person know if there is withdrawl? Just curious!