June, H and I have discussed this issue many times and he is well aware of the dangers of getting coercive about food. I understand his frustration because S6's blood sugar crashes are really hard to handle. I think that H was also trying to "fix" the fact that he screwed up by not feeding S6 at the right time and wanted to make sure he ate before leaving them with me -- out of consideration for me. But underlying all this is that H has weird overreactions to a lot of the daily challenges with the kids. Stuff like that is an emotional trigger for H. When one of the children is out of control, H gets really worked up and loses his own equilibrium. Actually, the same problem with me -- any distress or negativity from me would completely trigger him. I will probably bring it up by email and restate my concern about getting involved in power struggles with food and make it clear that I avoid interfering in his parenting but I can't back him up if he chooses to use that strategy.
When H was still living with us, a huge amount of my life energy went into being the calm rock that everyone could count on during the various emotional storms. I won't lie - I had my storms too, but I wasn't nearly as moody and volatile as H was.
Last edited by flowmom; 04/17/1003:04 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
