Yes--Kim's site. I signed up to get the emails and have found her blog to be very good.
Boundaries, boundaries. I am so not good at this stuff. H rants all over the place "I'm not paying for XYZ" (when it has to do with me--although he knows I start a class in May and he's paying for it).
But he takes off with S and drives 200 miles here and there, eats out, does activities. On the one hand, the reason I'm back to this is because of how rotten he was treating S. I didn't know how to stop it.
So, I did what I did (almost became a WAW myself there!) and I have to say--he's been treating S in a completely different way. I'm thankful for that. And my changes that he doesn't know where they are coming from? I was thinking of this the other day. He is treating S so good that I can't help but be smiling and happy inside (and I'm sure it shows).
We fixed up S's room (new paint, furniture, curtains, AND a flatscreen TV!!) My S is such a wonderful kid. Honors at school, active with the band, LOVES drama and in every play, girls like him but he knows "no girlfriends, just girls AS friends".
And it's been healing for me--nobody cared about me or my living space when I was his age. My parents were going through a nasty, bitter divorce with an affair, my mom's mental issues, and then they dragged the nonsense on for 5 years!! My teen years were beyond nightmarish. I actually don't know how I made it. My brother didn't (he's in prison now for 5 years for attempted murder--always been on drugs since this time).
So H tells my S (not me) "get your homework done today, I may be taking you to XYZ tomorrow." I don't know if I should be Ok with this? He never discussed it with me and he knows I want S to go to church on Sundays. On one hand it seems like he is taking advantage of me. I usually "give in" to things(trying to stay flexible--but H rarely lets me have any continuity to my life). But on the other hand, if they are getting close again, that has to be a good thing. S is 14 and I thought for a bit there that he was going to end up hating his dad. Now they are becoming good pals again.
Anyone? Should I just relax about this stuff? Is a boundary being crossed here?
