I've been an online 'chatter' for years and years - in fact, that's how I met my XH and a few boyfriends after that too. I have a good network of online friends who mostly I know in real life too - I never chat with anyone unless I know I'm prepared to meet them face to face.
Like you, I am exactly the same online as I am in real life - it's just not worth pretending to be something you're not. It's too much like hard work if you ask me and frankly I like to be paid for work if you get my drift
I guess I just feel a bit jaded by the whole meeting people and actually wanting something to happen and then when it doesn't convince myself that I'm actually happy on my own and I don't want a relationship.
That in itself is a pile of bollocks! I don't like being on my own, but yet I do. I've got so used to my own space and doing what I want when I want - but I'm starting to think that it's because it's what I've had to get used to and is not necessarily what I really want deep down.
The other tough one is that I've always wanted kids - now with the big four oh approaching I'm starting to wonder if it actually will ever happen...again I've been telling myself that I've passed it and there's really no point in wanting to start a relationship with someone because ultimately are they going to want kids???? probably not *sigh*
So tonight I joined eHarmony - I must go back onto Match and see what I can scoop up there lol. So far I have 14 matches and the thing that surprised me the most is how many men over the age of 46 want kids!! So MAYBE, just maybe I could be in with a chance to meet someone...but (yes I know you're rolling your eyes at me now) what if I screw this one up like I did my M?
I was the WAW and then went back - it was a mess. I'm scared of falling into a relationship because it's there and not because I actually LOVE the person.
*steps on a bomb*
told you it was a minefield - my head hurts now >:(
