Reconstructing Bart

[ClingingToHope]

One of the things I learned and really wished I'd learned earlier is to not get defensive. If you'd called back to defend yourself it would have just exploded to another level.

Now, typical people would call back and apologize, unfortunately, WASs aren't typical.

My internal rule is that if STBXW needs me to take the kids so she can catch up at work then I say yes. I've always done all I could so she could excel at her job and hey it's bonus time with the girls.

But if I sense she is just trying to get me as a free babysitter so she can go partying then I say no. I learned this after July 4 and Christmas where it seemed she was offering me time with the girls in good faith because it was a holiday. In truth, she wanted to run off drinking with her best friend at these little townie bars 30 minutes from here.

So on two other three-day weekend occasions she offered me a chance to have them and I turned it down. One time I was right because she ended up dumping them on her mom for the night. The other time she stayed home with them.

I felt a little guilty, but I'm not sure how much fun we would have had with me focusing on what she's doing.

This could come back to bite me since she switched weekends with me once this year so I could work and I'm asking her to switch again in May so I can work back-to-back weekends.

She hasn't responded to the May request. I don't need any other changes this year.