I think you're both right. He draws towards me when I'm distant, PLUS being distant/detached is good for my PMA.
Going to stop worrying what he is doing and start paying attention to me again. I've been drug down into his drama and every time he is able to do that to me, he feels smug and knows he still has me. When he worries maybe he's losing me/losing control, he starts trying to get my attention again and feeling down about himself.
This is entirely his bag. He's the moody one with the drinking problem. I'm the (usually) put together girl with the options and future. LOL.
At work, several people have noticed the changes in me. The HR director said it's more than just weight loss, it seems my whole personality has been transformed, that I seem happier and just more free. I guess if they are seeing it, H must be also.
He got upset when he found out I had plans this weekend. At first, I was touched, thinking he wanted to be with me, but b/c of Allen's insistence and insight, I see instead that he wants to control me and when I was out of his control, now he was not feeling good. That's why he first showed interest (you're going out?) and then showed he didn't "care" (oh,never mind, have a good time) - LOL. That email was so transparent, I just wish I had not been so close to it and emotional last night, I would have seen it better/clearer.
I think for right now, I'm going Bo Peep - JUST until I'm able to get more intel and spend some time drawing him towards me and seeing if it works... spend a few weeks doing that. I'll gather intel during this time and then hopefully, I'll be detached enough and feeling enough PMA that I'll be able to make wise, stand up decisions like Puppy mentions... what God would do to one of his children. Right now, I just am too close, too emotional, too reactionary to everything. If I do Ghandi right now, I'm going to screw it up big time. Yes, he needs consequences, yes he needs to know I will NOT be a door mat, but right now, I'm feeling like a door mat because I'm not strong enough - so I am going to spend time on myself for a while.
) 
