MLC or not?

[lalxx]

GF,
I can only reiterate what worked for me - I have a policy of not responding to a given situation (e-mail, text, call) until after 9pm that evening - if the issue still bothers me at that time I try and formulate a plan to sort it - if I can't then I write it down in my journal and sleep on it. Most issues are not in my head by 9pm.

You need to just take a little step away from your husband - I am paraphrasing here but someone on this forum wrote:-

The things that drags all of us down the most is our constant watching of the circumstances around us. A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it too close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus. Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified. Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its true setting, just one more tiny bump on the pathway to life

This makes total sense - not having much contact with your husband is counter intuitive to you and that was how it felt to me but since I LEARNED how to do it, with dignity and for the right reasons, I have a better take on my situation and can see the wood for the trees.

I hope this helps a little as you seem to be twisting in the wind but I guess you KNOW what you need to do but doing it is another.

My husband left 7 months ago, has been in a relationship with an exgirlfriend from 25 years ago for 18 months and in the last 2 weeks he has shown real interest in what i am doing, has noticed changes to our home and knows my plans for GAL - I haven't told him - my children have shared bits with him BUT he is looking at me and is intrigued by what he sees - I continue to be warm when i have to be and detached - playing by my rules so that I don't get hurt again by rushing him into something that I want desperately (a chance at reconciliation) but know in my heart of hearts it is way too early for him......

Save your sanity and start on the road to the you, YOU are meant to be.

lalxx