Time for darkness.... (thread number 3)ears open

[CityGirl]

The gratitude I am asking you to express has nothing to do with me.

You have a roof over your head, fresh and clean water to drink, food to eat and clothes to wear. You are receiving medication, surgical procedures, counseling and diagnostic care on the somebody else's dime. You clearly have a few bucks to burn since you can afford to rent hotel rooms, smoke, go bowling and go out to eat. You have not expressed ANY gratitude for what you DO have. Instead you have complained and felt very sorry for yourself.

Do you know how many people die unnecessarily each year in this country because they cannot afford basic health care? Do you know how many people had their limbs amputated in parks with nothing more than a saw in Haiti after the earthquake? Instead of even mentioning you don't have a ride to your procedure you should have said "holy sh*t balls, I am about to get a procedure that will greatly improve my quality of life and I won't have to pay a dime, WOW, I am the luckiest dude in the word!".

Boundaries are not to make your W do anything. Boundaries are for you and your own self respect. There is a plethora of information about setting and enforcing boundaries on your thread and this site.

I am so tired of hearing about your W. I would think by now you would be tired of saying the same things.

You need to occupy your time while you are looking for work. Go volunteer, help your parents around the house or go turn cartwheels in your yard for 8 per day. Just do *something*.

Start to learn the basic concepts of detachment, validation, no contact, boundaries and emotional thought stopping.

Stop asking the same questions over and over again and start reading all the advice on your thread and others.

If you want to talk about you then great. If you keep talking about your W so be it but I won't participate anymore because I am tired of hearing about her BS.

Stop being a drama queen and start being a strong man.

[james217]

The gratitude I am asking you to express has nothing to do with me.

You have a roof over your head, fresh and clean water to drink, food to eat and clothes to wear. You are receiving medication, surgical procedures, counseling and diagnostic care on the somebody else's dime. You clearly have a few bucks to burn since you can afford to rent hotel rooms, smoke, go bowling and go out to eat. You have not expressed ANY gratitude for what you DO have. Instead you have complained and felt very sorry for yourself.

Do you know how many people die unnecessarily each year in this country because they cannot afford basic health care? Do you know how many people had their limbs amputated in parks with nothing more than a saw in Haiti after the earthquake? Instead of even mentioning you don't have a ride to your procedure you should have said "holy sh*t balls, I am about to get a procedure that will greatly improve my quality of life and I won't have to pay a dime, WOW, I am the luckiest dude in the word!".

Boundaries are not to make your W do anything. Boundaries are for you and your own self respect. There is a plethora of information about setting and enforcing boundaries on your thread and this site.

I am so tired of hearing about your W. I would think by now you would be tired of saying the same things.

You need to occupy your time while you are looking for work. Go volunteer, help your parents around the house or go turn cartwheels in your yard for 8 per day. Just do *something*.

Start to learn the basic concepts of detachment, validation, no contact, boundaries and emotional thought stopping.

Stop asking the same questions over and over again and start reading all the advice on your thread and others.

If you want to talk about you then great. If you keep talking about your W so be it but I won't participate anymore because I am tired of hearing about her BS.

Stop being a drama queen and start being a strong man.

So I'm supposed to say a prayer on this board everyday about what I"m thankful for? I do that every morning when I wake up and pray.

I come on the board to vent and express how I feel about my thoughts and feelings.

The dcotors don't really want me doing too much of nothing right now. I'm on a strict diet. I help out around the house when I can. Most of the time they want to do it themselves.

i cannot have a taxi or bus take me to the surgery they will NOT DO IT. It has to be a responsible person take me. So that's out too.

It's in the paperwork i'm reading. This operation aint no joke sighs. The symptoms are really really scary.

i'm really realy hoping i get this job because it's like 5 mins from the house driving. I can catch a taxi home and rest after I have the surgery. I need to work. Bills are going to start adding up soon and s10's financial case is looming overhead

I have a meeting with my lawyer on the 27th and now that I know what i'm facing them maybe he can help

[james217]

See if any of this sounds familiar:

Go dark.

No contact. Period.

Take care of yourself.

Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing how much you miss her.
It only empowers her more.

You have to fix you, your body and, most importantly, your soul before you can begin to fix "us".

One more thing: GO DARK. NO CONTACT.

God bless you, James.

thanks man. I appreciate it.

waw just asked to go to surgery. I haven't responded. She said I hurt her feelings about our disagreement about SD8 at lunch so she's been distant (looks@ phone records and sees calls to OMs)

She asked my opinion I gave it. I think she's trying to make me feel guilty again so that she can justify her actions. Nope not this time.

Darkness falls.

[james217]

my doctor is extremellllllllllllley talented. I should be in very good hands.

Dr. Koreishi graduated from The University of Michigan Medical School in Ann Arbor. She then completed a residency in ophthalmology at the prestigious Wilmer Eye Institute at Johns Hopkins Hospital followed by a fellowship in cornea, external disease and refractive surgery at The Bascom Palmer Eye Institute. Both facilities were recently ranked as the top two eye hospitals in the United States by U.S. News and World Report. After completing her training, Dr. Koreishi served as an assistant clinical professor at the Duke University Eye Center where she was an integral part of the comprehensive and cornea and refractive surgery services for the two years prior to moving to Texas.

Dr. Koreishi contributes to the field by participating in clinical research, and has co-authored several journal articles and presentations at national meetings. She recently co-authored the Focal Points module on "Ocular Surface Neoplasia", published by the American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO) and an article on femtosecond-assisted anterior lamellar keratoplasty published in the journal Ophthalmology. Dr. Koreishi also serves as a member of the Cornea Specialty Information Team (SIT) for the AAO. She is a member of the American Academy of Ophthalmology, American Society of Cataract and Refractive Surgeons and The Cornea Society.

[james217]

and city girl? I understand what you're saying but for me walking is a major major accomplishment. I went from playing basketball and other sports to not being able to walk across a room without everything spinning and me losing consciousness or being subconscious and unable to move.

that's why I have to see a neurologist still. They think I may have a form or epilepsy and possible vertigo.

I really don't know. It could just be the diabetes because he stated he thinks i've had alot of diabetic seizures too that have caused major memory loss (my short term is really bad so I type and write things down alot) and possible other brain damage.

I've never had it looked at. I had walking pneumonia in 05 and my fever was 109 degrees. I was literally dead for about 3 mins before they brought me back. So trust I try to thank God for each and every day with a prayer.

I have just been trying to work and raise the boys and let me health really really go. Now i'm paying for it but I wouldn't change it.

I learned how strong I was last year when I learned to use my cane for what possibly could happen later. Or when I had to wear an eye patch.

I when I could'nt move and I had to literaly crawl and pick myself up. Or when I'd be hurting so bad I just felt like not getting out of bed.

It's not easy. that's why sometimes I wish I wasn't here. The sitch with WAW just made me think about it more often but the fight continues.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

[quote=james217]

I did go dark for two days. [/quote

When? I must have missed that.

Puppy

[CityGirl]

So I'm supposed to say a prayer on this board everyday about what I"m thankful for? I do that every morning when I wake up and pray.

No, James... you are not "supposed" to come to this board everyday and say what you are thankful for. What you should be working towards is having a more positive and thankful outlook on life. Go back and read all your posts and see how you portray yourself as a victim. It's not attractive and it makes you a real downer. It is not about stating your gratitude out loud. It's all about allowing your gratitude to radiate from you even during the difficult times.

I come on the board to vent and express how I feel about my thoughts and feelings.

We all do that however we also absorb the advice and experience freely doled out. You vent and vent and vent some more and gloss over the majority of the advice that is given to you. When you do respond to reasonable and necessary questions you are defiant and simply remain staunch in your stance. Not only have you closed yourself off to gratitude, you simply seemed to have closed yourself off to anything positive and you make excuse after excuse of what you can't do. Figure out what you *can* do.

The dcotors don't really want me doing too much of nothing right now. I'm on a strict diet. I help out around the house when I can. Most of the time they want to do it themselves.

That is interesting. If your doctors don't want you doing much of anything how do they feel about you bowling and having sex? How do they feel about you going to restaurants with your strict diet? What do the dr's say about your smoking? You can't fool a professional patient, James.

i cannot have a taxi or bus take me to the surgery they will NOT DO IT. It has to be a responsible person take me. So that's out too.

It's in the paperwork i'm reading. This operation aint no joke sighs. The symptoms are really really scary.

I don't think anybody claimed your operation was a joke. Operations are a scary, scary thing. The constant sighs though really aren't helping anything.

I live with a chronic and incurable disease each day. There are days I am so fatigued I have to use every ounce of strength I have to lift my arms over my head to wash my hair. There are days I am not sure how I will find the energy to take one more step. There are days my joints hurt so bad I can't even close a button to get dressed. Each day I wonder if today will be the day my kidneys, brain, heart, lungs or liver will become so inflamed they shut down. Each day I ingest large doses of drugs that burn my stomach like fire. I get it.

There are have been long stretches where I have been home bound due to a highly compromised immune system or infection. During those unfortunate stretches I try and be productive. I taught myself Photoshop and brushed up on my French. DO SOMETHING.

Take the weekend and really read about all the stuff that has been posted to you.

[james217]

[quote=james217]

I did go dark for two days. [/quote

When? I must have missed that.

Puppy

i was dark until today. i was dark for 2 days.

she has someone else she left vms stating it. she said he's a breath of fresh air. how much she can't stand me. that they are just friends and she cursed and went off on me and texted me mean things.

i know she doesnt mean tit. i'm going to visit her. i'm going to bring her flowers.

[james217]

So I'm supposed to say a prayer on this board everyday about what I"m thankful for? I do that every morning when I wake up and pray.

No, James... you are not "supposed" to come to this board everyday and say what you are thankful for. What you should be working towards is having a more positive and thankful outlook on life. Go back and read all your posts and see how you portray yourself as a victim. It's not attractive and it makes you a real downer. It is not about stating your gratitude out loud. It's all about allowing your gratitude to radiate from you even during the difficult times.

I come on the board to vent and express how I feel about my thoughts and feelings.

We all do that however we also absorb the advice and experience freely doled out. You vent and vent and vent some more and gloss over the majority of the advice that is given to you. When you do respond to reasonable and necessary questions you are defiant and simply remain staunch in your stance. Not only have you closed yourself off to gratitude, you simply seemed to have closed yourself off to anything positive and you make excuse after excuse of what you can't do. Figure out what you *can* do.

The dcotors don't really want me doing too much of nothing right now. I'm on a strict diet. I help out around the house when I can. Most of the time they want to do it themselves.

That is interesting. If your doctors don't want you doing much of anything how do they feel about you bowling and having sex? How do they feel about you going to restaurants with your strict diet? What do the dr's say about your smoking? You can't fool a professional patient, James.

i cannot have a taxi or bus take me to the surgery they will NOT DO IT. It has to be a responsible person take me. So that's out too.

It's in the paperwork i'm reading. This operation aint no joke sighs. The symptoms are really really scary.

I don't think anybody claimed your operation was a joke. Operations are a scary, scary thing. The constant sighs though really aren't helping anything.

I live with a chronic and incurable disease each day. There are days I am so fatigued I have to use every ounce of strength I have to lift my arms over my head to wash my hair. There are days I am not sure how I will find the energy to take one more step. There are days my joints hurt so bad I can't even close a button to get dressed. Each day I wonder if today will be the day my kidneys, brain, heart, lungs or liver will become so inflamed they shut down. Each day I ingest large doses of drugs that burn my stomach like fire. I get it.

There are have been long stretches where I have been home bound due to a highly compromised immune system or infection. During those unfortunate stretches I try and be productive. I taught myself Photoshop and brushed up on my French. DO SOMETHING.

Take the weekend and really read about all the stuff that has been posted to you.

dr tell me to relax today. THey put me on new diet.

[james217]

i go visit WAW. i surprise her with gifts. I leave outside for her. She get mad. Yell at me on the phone. Call me names. She already tell me she turning off her phone and moving away far far away from jammmmmmmmmmmmmes. She said Im crazy and scared her. I just bring her stuffed animals.

she was so mad tonight. I had to do something nice to make her happy. but i messed up again.