Hey LR! Haven't been over here in awhile and am sorry to see things are still "tense". Just keep venting on here! Sounds like your H is having a little mlc (his depression makes me think that) and will probably go back and forth! Thinking of you! (((LR)))
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Maybe see if you can get some fun in their for your M and H and you this week. It's been a tough downer week with the sis stuff, the son's breakup. Don't let it affect the R if possible. Good luck!
(((LR))) lots of stressors to deal with. Sorry I got confused about the sister sitch...I finally get it, I think. I also hope that you and H can take some time to relax and have fun this weekend. Sorry he is seeming more distant.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Well we have planned saturday for an us day, no money to do anything nice but it was a big 180 for him to pick up my passing comment on "shall I ride friday evening and we spend a weekend day together"!
Two jobs in the pipeline, so things looking a bit more hopeful!
Struggling with his housework apathy and me having to go home and do some more, although I do understand how easily housework apathy can be debilitating.. Just dont want to do it on top of a 40+ hour week, horse riding as well.
Oh well keep plodding forward, getting nearer to the dreaded WA still not sure what Im gonna do on that one yet, although I have seen a quite amusing card on a website which can be altered to names and years..
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
YAY for Saturday. Hope it works out well. Btwn Sat. housework solutions and staying aware, maybe going into the WA with a PMA will help it not go poorly.
Things are looking up, two interviews next week for H, one means he would stay away all week, but when chatting he said he prefer the one that allowed him to come home, although tbh he is more likely to get the stay away one!
Went out for dinner last night and did manage to bring up the lack of house work in conversation and he honestly said he was struggling with his depression and had doubled up on tablets a couple of day, which I validated his honesty but still said it doesnt help me much as other wise I'll end up going in the same direction as him due to stress.. Mentioned a few other things finances which didnt start off positive but did get turned around as we chatted on.. but some of the emotional stuff he is clearly not ready to face up to any of that yet, either his or mine! Still some days havent a clue where this is going but did manage to voice that Im still not letting him in too much as I dont feel confident him getting a job will result in him leaving again, which he looked offended at but didnt protest, what does he expect me to think, he changed the perameters of trust in our relationship and no they will never go back to what they were..
Looking forward to our weekend, at least its on a more positive note and footing..
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
If he still says he has problems with active depression, you are correct he is clearly not ready to face to his or yours yet. What a mess. Great that you can recognize thia and be understading.
I think you're entitled to any lack of trust that still exists. Not sure if it's helpful to discuss it with him, but it might be good he knows it is still a concern for you.
I hope for your sake that H gets a job! Sometimes that is the magical cure for depression, esp for men. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you tomorrow . Maybe you could start the day with an hour of housework together. Not terribly romantic, but it does involve companionship and teamwork.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Well our twenty one year old wall flower is around but it's nice having a bit of family time.
RR active depression definitely around still so I keep my boundaries simple and clear to avoid potential toy throwing, gosh it gives me brain ache some times trying to keep positives spins on things all the time especially as it's key in my job too so I never get a break!
Whilst I accept I'm not going to get all the apolagies and regrets yet I won't let him step into be grateful I'm back mode and that is there under the surface and believe me I'm not grateful he's back life would be simpler if he wasn't!
Big one today so I'm really happy, we'd agreed to spend today together then he remembered some thing was on this evening so I said it not a problem go if we can afford it, wasn't ready for the surprise of him saying you could come with me
Lots of potential work opportunities this week, this would be a big turn around for both of us, but at the same time throw up potential talks about how we do things like finances. Hanging in there still hope you are all well
rabbit x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
. Maybe you could start the day with an hour of housework together. Not terribly romantic, but it does involve companionship and teamwork.