The last 3 convo's I've had with my H have been so different from others in the past. I have decided to be nice, but not a doormat. Listen more and talk less and hold my emotions down with showing some emotions as needed. Validate and repeating what he just said with also telling him I don't feel the same way as him, etc. I'm not trying to read any hope into it. However, I have noticed he has been looking at me a lot more and differently without the anger in his eyes. And has started saying stuff like "if we get back together..."
Hmmm... H seems to be moving closer now that you really are moving away????? You have finally come around to detaching from the outcome and he begins to change his attitude??? Not to say we told ya so but ....we did!
This is great but you also know he will cycle with this and it is important for you not to get sucked back into the chaos. Expect him to go back and forth, hot and cold for awhile. You are the rock! You are the stability he will seek out. I am just reinforcing what Allen has already said. Maybe a boundary to not discuss your M?? "H, you know where I stand on the D, End contact with OW and go to FT to discuss it any further" or something like that. Don't ya wanna just grab him by the ear, drag him to his room and ground him for a month?!?!?!? I wish it was that simple:(
All I really wanted to point out was that when you let go, things changed! Keep it up!!
P.S. I didn't see him at the race! I was sure I'd recognize him!!lol
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
