Remember this one thing that you're mourning, and missing...
You're mourning the image of a M that you do not have right now. I feel those same things. I feel like all of my friends are M; and now I won't be and now I'm a pariah. It wasn't supposed to be this way. In reality, the image of my M was really just that, an image made up in my mind. I never really had it, because she never really gave it to me. I lived a lie as much as she did. Only difference is that I would have fought to keep it and make it better.
It's unfortunate for all of us here on these boards; but cheer up. It does get easier...with time.
