Thanks Grit Another tough day. H called today several times..I finally answered but probably shouldn't have. He wanted to come by tomorrow to discuss finances. We ended up having a lengthy conversation about finances instead. These conversations make everything so real. H said this is torture..I agreed.
My SIL called me last night again..telling me that she loves me and that I will always be part of the family and then we cried. I don't think I have cried so deeply than in the past couple of days. I hope this gray cloud lifts soon. I am not a naturally sad person so this is so tough.
I went to buy a dress for a wedding that I am going to next weekend. The maker of the dress I bought was my H first name. Walking thru the mall..someone is trying to spray the perfume Lola on me..the perfume my H bought me for Christmas. I am on the escalator and the people next to me are talking about a friends divorce. i just feel like I am suffocating. There is no escape. I wonder if he feels the same thing. The constant reminders of the life we are leaving behind slapping you in the face.
I know that finding someone else this soon is not a good idea..but I so badly just want to move on.
I dated a man before my H for four years..our breakup wasn't easy..but I was only 25- just starting my career. My friends were mostly single and it just felt like new beginnings...and that is exactly what it was. I had a blast. Now it is so different- my friends have husbands and children. I have financial responsibilities after buying this house that will limit what I can do- after traveling the world with my H and doing so many things..life just seems bleak.
