dear bd, only just caught up with what's been going on at your end. wow. too much confusion. and i can see you've gone on a rollercoaster ride - hope to loss of hope. in a word: not good. CAKE EATING ALERT!!!!!!
Where are your BOUNDARIES?
You are giving him b-i-g mixed messages. "I can't be friends", but keep texting back and forth and then you let him come over and touch your tummy and roll around with the dog.
You wouldn't let a non-friend do those things, would you?
I also think you have a lot to lose by not keeping to your boundaries. I think you have a good chance of saving this M, but this back and forth behaviour seems to undo any good word you do.
I hope you don't mind me being harsh.... BUT is this behaviour advancing your goals or the opposite?
I'm worried you are going to start resenting him and losing respect from him.
You are seeing glimpses of the old him, which must pull terribly at the heartstrings, but you need a FULL person to come back to you, not this current one.
You need to give him a taste of what life as a divorced dad is. A divorced dad doesn't come over and roll around on your carpet with the pooch!
Forgive me BD for being rough.. Have a look at what Allen has posted on my thread about the addictive traits of the LBS... they ring kinda true in both our sitch's, in my humble opinion.
