Hi. I am guilty of participating in the brain-free activity that is FB and neglecting the rest of the internet. I've been reading your posts, but feel I have little to add. But since you've asked.....
You are being fair. Although, I can see your W is taking up a bit of real estate between your ears. So, a new question springs to mind - what do you want from her? I noted that when talking to your C, she says based on the person you are now, you don't want her back. I can understand wanting to keep your family together, however, that would involve taking her back.
You send her pictures of the kids when they are with you and this is a nice gesture. You do follow up with commenting that she wouldn't do that for you. You are right. Let it go. She is who she is...if she changes it will be her idea. What's your intention? So the kids will feel she's involved while they are with you? I disagree with that - doesn't that send a mixed message? She's no longer involved with you and she gets her time with them. My thoughts.
Quote:
Do I want her to turn around and tell me she made a mistake? Do I want her to genuinely own and apologize for the things she has done? (like I did many times in the MC sessions)
The answer is YES. Why do I want this? Sometimes I don't even know. Vindication? A need for validation from her? (I think it's a lot less about this one)
I don't think you need validation from her. IMHO you just want to be right for once. When our spouses walk away, I think most of us want to think that they made a mistake. They all have their reasons, valid to us or not. I had a time when I wanted him to regret leaving me. Now? It just doesn't matter. (Almost 4 years later, it took about 2 years me to hit this point, your mileage may vary)
My bachelors will be in Natural Health. Unconventional, but I do believe that complementary medicine has it's place within scientific medicine. Both from a preventative and integrated prospective.
Started my next psych course - the book is good. Reaching out - Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self-Actualization. David Johnson. Another quick read - full of interesting thoughts.
