1. Expose to his kids 2. Pack his suitecase 3. Meet him at the door with the kids behind you. 4. Don't even let him in the house. Lock the doors and stand firm.
You offer him the suitcase, you tell him
a. Full transparency plan and no contact
or...
b. Leave
You have both kids script that he is hurting them too... THEY tell him this... And they tell him to stop it, full transparency, or he leaves... have all three of you tell him this time.
Make sure you do NOT throw him out... you make the choice HIS... he can't come in without agreeing to ALL THREE of you that he will stop. And he agrees to full transparency at all times and will surrender all passwords etc... NO DEFENSIVENESS whatsoever.
All three of you recite the same confrontation script and he has to make a choice right there.. his home, family, and marriage... or the suitcase.
