whoa!!!! speaking of the devil.... H just came in here and kissed me on my head then tried my face and I said stop, what are u doing, stop... and he got mad and was like are you serious?! i cant kiss you now?? he hasnt been initiating kisses or hugs or anything this whole time! he would respond to me when i did, but he didnt initiate.... dang, does this LRT really work that quickly?!
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
he is testing you S03...don't fall for it. If you fall for it he knows that he still has you hanging on a thread. I am speaking from experience as I fell for this many times and it is a MAJOR setback. You will no longer accept any crumbs that he tries to throw at you is the attitude you want to have. PLEASE DON'T BACKSLIDE. The LRT is not working...he is just trying to see if you were serious right now. Don't fall for it.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
I dont know... I started packing up some stuff today, thinking that will help it to not be as overwhelming when the time really comes... and it got me down... I started imagining that day I actually walk out this door to get on a plane... and the thought that I might actually not see H again....
Come to find out now, he doesnt actually qualify for this early separation from the military, so he will be getting orders somewhere, and since las vegas was on the list (where OW is) that just really sucks....
Uggghhh I hate this....
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
Nevermind... I got my courage back... I was just reading thru Mindfull's thread... lifted my spirits back up!
If H is going to bring me down, going to be toxic to me, cant understand that he had a GREAT thing with me, is too stupid or immature or whatever to get involved in this marriage with me.... what do I need him for?? Doesnt mean I dont LOVE him... but I do love myself more now and I am SICK and TIRED of feeling low and unloved and like my world is crumbling all around me... my H does NOT make or break me.... I WANT H... i dont NEED H.... I know that I could find someone else, I dont believe there is just "one" for everyone... Do I believe that you should honor your vows and committment to the "one" that you chose?? of course! But at some point I had to realize that H is not going to meet me half way with that... You know in the movie Why Did I Get Married?? The 80/20 rule?? Well I was his 80 and all that other junk he wants is his 20... so I need to go find another 80 for myself! If that is not going to be H... oh well! too bad for him....
Where did my followers go??
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
I'm still here. Just catching up on your sitch. I really don't have anything to add as you've gotten great advice by the others here on your thread.
I have become a WAS to my WAW. Go figure. Mike from Tennessee, who helped me tremendously, used to comment on how often he sees the LBS become a WAS. There comes a point where enough is enough. Enough being blamed solely for the mess, enough of the WAS not doing anything to take responsibility for their issues let alone work on them. Enough having no power. Enough becomes enough. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.
You'll have your momentary lapses where you feel like your caving. You already experienced one earlier in this thread. Then your resolve came back. Just remember those lapses will pass. Come here and post, get feedback, etc...just like you are doing.
You're doing just fine. When he tests you, tell him no. Tell him you no longer have that kind of relationship with him and it makes you uncomfortable. These are boundaries. Figure out where you want them set, then be assertive about them. He is probing to see if he still has you on that thread. Oftentimes when you take that thread away, they switch their focus and have to deal with the reality of their own positions.
Keep it up.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
im having such a hard time lately... I was doing so good...
I try hard to have a "if you dont want me, I dont want you" attitude... and it was genuine for a little while... now its not... now I feel more like " why dont you want me?? I want you!!"
uggh... I love my husband
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
SV3 I unfortunately know exactly how you feel. I'm going through the same thing right now. I didn't realize how much harder it would be once I got home.
You wan to just say forget the H or W I know I'm better than that, but it's harder to do than it is to say. There's days when you feel you can conquer the world, and there's days when the reality of the sitch hits you.
Your sitch and our sitch is very new yet, so we're unable to become the WAS just yet. You seem to be there at times and then revert back. Believe me we all know how that roller coaster goes.
Check out my thread when you get the chance to see how things are going or not going. Today is our R talk, so we'll see how things are after today.
Married 18 Me 39 W 37 D 15 D 5 Divorce Filed 8 April 2010 Beginning of Reconcile 8 Sept
