I'm sure that he meant it, too. I was pretty sure just knowing about ADHD that I would be doing much better asap. Nope. Lots of habits and traits are learned over years.
My IC was talking to me yesterday about this triangle thing between the bully-rescuer-victim and how there is a better way to deal with things when my W (or I) is stuck in these roles. I was going back in my head and wondering if he is stuck on one of these roles, too.
Anyhow, you can't want what you don't want. If you asked about working things out and things really weren't working out, you can say so and both of you can walk away having tried something different. If he says no, you can say you tried even when you weren't all there. If you don't try being more direct, well, you've done what you thought was best and he did what he thought was best. You can always move on without trying everything.
Going back to that triangle, I asked my IC 'what do can do if my W is always on the bad side of the triangle despite me doing it "right".'
She replied that I would need to decide if the R is what I want. It sounds like you want to make that decision. Do it if you are sure. If you are not, keep trying for a while. It is your life and future.
