Yeah, I am more than willing to listen to everyone's opinion and advice to consider, but I'm getting such mixed opinions and I know that it's my responsibility to sort through them. So much of this has gone against everything that I've let myself become over the years and hasn't been easy. But, I know that my passive nature and desire to please people is what got me here and it sure as hell isn't going to get me out of this. All I can do is keep absorbing everyone's advice, keep myself upright and working on the things in my life that I know need to change so that I'm a better person and stick up for myself, and get out and enjoy myself.
Now I have an email from her saying "you're in for a treat when you go home :)" god, I don't really care what it is, but I swear to god if she's broken anything. . .
I can tell from your last few words, "if she's broken anything..." that there's a recurring pattern here, she's done this before hasn't she? If you're too scared or ashamed to admit, don't be, it happens to alot of people.
If she's broken anything, this is what you will do:
1. Take photos with your phone or digital camera
2. Ask her to leave or stay but you are calling the police
3. Tell them what she did, tell them that you guys are in he process of separating and you are waiting for her to move out
4. Get a restraining order against her and let her know she now has to keep her distance
5. Get boxes and immediately help her pack
6. Get a lawyer and get all of this documented, the more the better
7. Let us know what happened
Don't ever put up with that bull$hit, breaking stuff, damaging stuff, making messes, etc. It's abuse plain & simple, it's destructive, it's a form of bullying meant to scare you into submission and you won't ever fall for that or allow her or anyone else to do this to you.
Understood? I made this crystal clear.
Now THIS is something I think we can all agree 100% on.
There is no "incremental approach" when it comes to violent or destructive behavior, CG. Please listen to Rob's wisdom here. CALL THE COPS if you need to.
Yeah, I am more than willing to listen to everyone's opinion and advice to consider, but I'm getting such mixed opinions and I know that it's my responsibility to sort through them. So much of this has gone against everything that I've let myself become over the years and hasn't been easy. But, I know that my passive nature and desire to please people is what got me here and it sure as hell isn't going to get me out of this. All I can do is keep absorbing everyone's advice, keep myself upright and working on the things in my life that I know need to change so that I'm a better person and stick up for myself, and get out and enjoy myself.
Now I have an email from her saying "you're in for a treat when you go home :)" god, I don't really care what it is, but I swear to god if she's broken anything. . .
I can tell from your last few words, "if she's broken anything..." that there's a recurring pattern here, she's done this before hasn't she? If you're too scared or ashamed to admit, don't be, it happens to alot of people.
If she's broken anything, this is what you will do:
1. Take photos with your phone or digital camera
2. Ask her to leave or stay but you are calling the police
3. Tell them what she did, tell them that you guys are in he process of separating and you are waiting for her to move out
4. Get a restraining order against her and let her know she now has to keep her distance
5. Get boxes and immediately help her pack
6. Get a lawyer and get all of this documented, the more the better
7. Let us know what happened
Don't ever put up with that bull$hit, breaking stuff, damaging stuff, making messes, etc. It's abuse plain & simple, it's destructive, it's a form of bullying meant to scare you into submission and you won't ever fall for that or allow her or anyone else to do this to you.
Understood? I made this crystal clear.
8. If you don't already have one or if your cellphone doesn't have the capability, buy a voice recorder on your way home. Use it to protect yourself.
Thanks, I know everyone's got me pointed in the right direction for myself. I think you're right, it's just the levels of what I should be doing for myself that people are sharing with me that makes it confusing sometimes. And I know everyone's opinion is different, that's good though.
And as far as replying to a nasty text to communicate to her that you will NOT be disrespected? Here's a faster, easier way to send the same message...
Again you're looking at this from a defeated negative point of view. Maybe she wants to give you sex when you get home. Why does it HAVE to be negative.
If it is negative, refer to robx above. If it IS negative, it is another one of her button pushing games. Do not get flustered, even if you do have to call the cops. Stay cool and in control. Eventually, if she can't rattle you, her head will just explode like Mars Attacks. All this in a day right? You are finally standing up to her, and in just one day it is making her absolutely mental.
Me 44 She 46 S13 D9 M18 T23 3 years DB'ing Successfully busted
hahaha, yeah. . .pretty sure I'm on the right track with assuming it's going to be something to try and get me upset. Which is also why I'm in no hurry to get home. Hell, I'll probably stop off for a beer with some work buddies on the way home.
And yeah, I laid out my boundaries Wednesday afternoon and last night around 7 is when I found her still chatting and cut the internet. So, really about 15-20 hours minus 7 or so hours of sleep. . .so, a lot less than a day and she's mental. I know it's a total culture shock to her to see me acting like this.
My bet is she is just going to be a total b*tch to him when he gets home, and she's betting that that will rattle him. I could be wrong (and it won't, btw!).
Now, I'm off. I'll try to check back in on you later, CG.
Puppy
P.S. "April 16, 2010" Write that on your calendar, and on your brain, as the day you took your Life back.
Oh, she won't be there. I'm sure of that. And if she is, there's nothing like a little deviation from my normal routine to throw her off even more if she just planned on sitting around waiting for me. . .
And thanks, I'm pretty sure the last 24 hours of my life are ones that I'll always remember.
