Holy Crap! This HURTS! The realization that H is in a MLC and him not ever wanting me back. Knowing, reflecting, reading and experiencing, I *thought* I was a guarantee back into H's life. The tables are turned and I am looking at this M differently and HOLY MOLY, have I got some REAL work to do. Gawd, I am sick to my stomach! Deep down, I felt I was in control of this....not so much any more...
That is a curious statement. The guaranteed part. I think it happens a lot around here. I'm not trying give you a hard time or anything, I actually think you're doing pretty well. This is a positive realization.
I know this has to be very difficult, as painful as it seems, IMO this is a good thing. You'll get through this. Focus on what you can control and do your best to keep you mind in a positive place. There is no sense in dwelling on, or replaying the past.
There is no sense in letting your mind spin about all this at this point either. What's done is done. Focus on moving forward now.
