GF, sorry to hear about your sitch. It sounds like you've decided to let go because you don't believe he'll change - even though you feel nothing good will come from D?
That's because we have children, and the pain that STBXH and I have put them through with this D and breaking up the family unit is at times unbearable and shameful. If there were no children involved, I would probably feel very differently.
But I tried. I gave STBXH chance after chance after chance over a span of 4 years to make things right. To at the VERY least meet me halfway. He chose not to.
Quote:
Is there anything he can do at this point to change your mind?
That's a tough question...Tough because I think about my boys and I know what they want (Mom and Dad together)....but the answer is no. The R was an extremely abusive one, both emotionally and verbally. Even after I finally left for good, which he actually thanked me for, it continued. It was so bad that I changed my cell # and didn't give it to him until almost 10 months later. I would also avoid having to see him whenever it came time to exchange the boys. That has since changed as well.
Anyhow, the only thing he can do now is to be a good EX husband, and that IS something he is working on, but I could never be in a R with him again.
Poet - Good to see you, too, my dear :), and you're right. He does want my help. He doesn't have anyone there by his side at the moment (he supposedly stopped dating OP again), so he's looking for comfort and just to talk to someone. Pretty much whoever's willing to listen, and guess what? It's not me anymore. That may be harsh, but it is what it is now. I have, if any, very little empathy for someone who convinced me for so long, and I quote, that I was a "SAD human being" (because I'm 35 and have been a SAHM without, in HIS opinion, a "REAL" career), constantly rubbed in my face that he had a GF after I left - even maliciously said, "does it STING?", told lies time and time again.....Ugh. I could go on and on, but I won't. It's in the past. It might creep up on me every once in awhile, but all I can do is try my best to shake it off and let it go. I refuse to give him that power over me.
(((Hugs)))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
