She tells me she wants to talk to me, and wants to see me.
I am the one pursuing now. Very slowly, and very tentatively, but I am.
I know that is what EVERYONE says not to do, but I've been following more the "do something different" and "monitor results" more than anything else.
The problem for me here is that just going dark on her is "more of the same". Letting her contact me only is "more of the same"... Leaving setting up dates to her is "more of the same".
I TOTALLY understand where you guys are coming from and what you are saying, and I'm not trying to say you are wrong. I really am just trying out different things now and seeing how she reacts.
Her and I have a date in a few weeks, and I am leaving it at that. We chat some online when we are both at work, but thats it. No R talk. Just chit chatting. So far, this is going well.
My goal for the past month or so has been to create a safe environment where she feels comfortable talking to me again, and this seems to be happening.
It never ceases to amaze me, this thought process.
Something is apparently working but hey lets get creative and try other stuff just to mix it up and see if it will work.
Hmmmm.... no contact and not pursuing appear to be working.
But... let's stop doing that, let's pursue, let's contact and see if that works too?!
NO.
Don't fix it if it ain't broke, it applies to alot of things, including your situation.
If what you are doing, limiting contact, letting her contact you, letting her be curious about you, asking about you, phone you, etc. is working because you are admitting to us that she seems to want to contact you more & more (again that's what you said unless you're LYING), why do you need to change what you're doing at all?
Are you needy? Insecure? Afraid she'll lose interest in you? Find another guy?
Newsflash, all of those things are possible, regardless of what you do.
What you are doing now works, and it will continue to work, there's a reason people are told about the no contact technique and to stop pursuing their WAS's... because it works but I get it, you're an expert now and since something is working and you're an expert, you want to attempt some experiments and maybe be a pioneer in the DB field with some new radical techniques like: - be needy - contact her often - show her you're interested in her alot especially since she didn't want to be with you originally - show your insecurity by contacting her to make sure she's still interested - being a wussy - doubting what you're already doing which is apparently working
Do I need to continue or do you get the F!@#$%* point?
Continue doing what you've been doing which has yielded results which you yourself characterize as "positive" and "successful".
