I know this is a touchy and very controversial topic, but I'll bite.
(sorry, bad pun for those into the whole S&M thing, but here goes . . . )
I don't necessarily think that porn is a problem in a marriage. However, I think it is if:
- you are spending marital/family assets on it that is hurting the family financially;
- it is leading you to initiate -- or being willing to reciprocate -- sex at a frequency that is less than what your spouse is desirous of;
- it has become addictive to the point where other things aren't getting done (time with the kids, QT with your spouse, other things that used to be of importance in your life);
And of course, the ol' "general welfare" clause that seems to roll up most of the debate:
- if your spouse has a real problem with it, is hurt by it, to the point of saying this is a "dealbreaker" for them.
I realize that men and women, when polled, will answer this question very differently.
But when is it the same as having an affair? I would say only if you're having cybersex with OW/OM online.
