1. You suspect he may be cheating again 2. There are divided opinions on how to approach infidelity as a whole 3. We don't have confirmation if an infidelity is taking place or not
The one camp here argues that infidelity should be handled as an addiction, using exposure, intervention, and protection for yourself and your family until the infidelity is over and the WS agrees to a transparency plan you are both satisfied with.
The alternate camp reccomends working hard on your end to make yourself a more attractive option, but NOT addressing the infidelity at all... merely acting as if it isn't a problem in hopes the spouse will reuturn home.
Note that the former camp's approach does still reccomend the LBS work on themselves and get a life of some sort, to make the return home more inviting.
This is the issue. You have to find out if he IS cheating, and if so, you need to decide the consequences/responses you will take from those circumstances. Once we know what's going on, we can make some decisions.
This entire post is "4 Whistles" stuff, but the above, I think, perfectly whittles down the tens of thousands of words, hundreds of posts, on multiple forums, and the quandary in which Passenger seems to be stuck.
Pass, this is why -- I think it was about two weeks ago -- I said you needed to decide which road you wanted to take. YOU ARE ALL OVER THE MAP, in my opinion, initially waffling between two radically different approaches, and now even waffling between different forums that advocate TOTALLY different strategies and techniques.
You will have people here who support you either way you choose, but I do think you have to choose, because I think the hard-soft-hard-soft messages you're sending to your husband are probably horribly confusing him.
