Phil - you mentioned a worthless feeling. Do your best to separate you from the problem your W is having. She is having a problem with making changes and communicating that to you. If she had, you wouldn't have been shocked.
You, like all of us, have things to work on. But you can't control the problems she has or has made.
Take some deep breaths! Keep your mind, open, too.
I read "how to improve your marriage without working on it" and "his needs, her needs". Both (along with DB) have helped me make changes in my life that have been well recieved by my W. That doesn't mean I've solved my M problems. It does mean that I can feel like I've tried and at least done things instead of just feeling sad.
