What does this mean?- the WH's regrets?

[newmama]

wow GATSBY- your H's behavior is eerily similar in some ways to mine acted during pregnancy while I was NC but in your case there is no OW!

But I think that deep down he can be the partner that I thought he always was. It's frustrating that he has to discover that himself.

This is exactly how I feel about my WH-I know his potential better than he knows it for himself.

I know you expressed concern that his current actions could make it comfortable for him to get used to single life. I was not expecting my WH to 1)not come back after S was born but 2)to be soooo crazy about S! (just due to the situation- I knew if we were together he would be!)

SO I say this because in your H's case, he may be so enamoured with your little baby girl and want to see her all the time. Because you are being so strong and wise and not afraid of divorce, I can see you setting boundaries. Now for me, I thought that it was punishing my S if my H didn't get to see him. BUT I didn't realize that S wouldn't care about anyone else besides his momma for the first couple of months.

I was also worried that if H didn't see S a lot, then he wouldn't bond with him. In hindsight, yes I am glad he stayed with me post birth and he bonded with S during that time. I really needed help those first 2 weeks and didn't have anyone to move in with me to help.

BUT then I should have implemented the parenting plan damn it!!! Meaning I should have said, like we planned previously,

"ok you get to see him 2 days for 3 hours each. I need to not be around you. It is too painful for me. You obviously don't want a family but I do know you love S. Unfortunately, because this is the path you chose, you will need to act like a divorced father and grow to get used to it."

arghh. shoulda woulda coulda.

OK so this relates to you because I can see you setting boundaries, I can see your H will want to be with your D a lot, and if he is going to choose the singles life he can't have both.

I really did need the breaks that WH provided by being here 6 days per week but I couldn't find a way to detach from him while he was here. And S was too young to be transported in a car! Oh learn from my mistakes great Gatsby! (lol)