When he's in front of me asking to reconcile and go forward with our marriage I am not trusting him, and I seem to recoil when he tries to hug me or anything. My intuition that something is wrong is going off, but I don't know after all of this whether to trust it or not.
THEN... when he's not here, after he's left, after I'VE pushed him away... then I miss him like crazy, and I feel bad about pushing him away.
He could be here, hanging with us all weekend, talking about moving home, and I won't even hug him????!?!?!?!?!!!
I don't understand why I'm behaving like this, but I guess it's just human nature after you've gone through this sort of thing?
But so is that whole begging/pleading thing we all do at the beginning, which is the WORST thing to do!
