I do question my own judgment right now at times, to be honest, mostly in regards to H. I do struggle with that. It is that whole trying to figure out how to be right now.
As regards to not believing him, it is both. Yes, he has not been honest with me about much for the past year and a half and yes I am scared to put any trust in him because I am scared of being proven wrong.
Example - he has taken some actions it seems to start rectifying his financial mess and take some of that pressure of off me (his words about the pressure) - YET I don't trust him to do the things that need to be done completely, at least not yet. BUT his actions have shown good faith effort.
And I am just not sure he is trying to earn my trust back yet, at least not intentionally, if that makes any sense. But for the most part in the past few weeks the things he has said he would do he has followed through on.
My confusion is in that the more he acts like the old H, the easier it is to FEEL like I can trust him (I never had to question my trust in him before this MLC) but then I think back over the past year and a half and how completely my trust has been broken and just don't know what to think.
Just kind of venting. I have to feel my way through all of this.
