You say a lot of things in common with what I hear my 1 or 2 most very trusted IRL people say, and I have to wonder how you can see into the situation like this (or why I can't). Anyway, it is extremely comforting to me to read your words, even though they are not necessarily words of happily ever after. I greatly appreciate when people just speak straight with me.
I do think he misses me and the kids a lot. However, I think he's been pulled in 2 different directions for most of our marriage now (me and relatively happy home life versus the allure of what's "out there") and I guess he lacked the integrity to pick one long ago.
Part of my fear of getting back with him now, is why should I assume that this time he can build a healthy relationship with me, when he was clearly incapable of doing that before.
Have the experiences he's gone through actually taught him this yet? The realization that there isn't anything more out there then what there is or isn't, that he really could loose the one's who care most about him, that life is not great when no one has your back, and that living on one's own is not necessarily so wonderful.... or is he still driven to search for some sort of elusive happiness which is beyond my control.
