I think I did a good job of making the internet situation clear that it wasn't me doing it out of revenge, but because of the choice that she made, this is what was happening.
I do agree and appreciate the comment about telling her that I'm not playing these games with her anymore. I just know that how hard this bed situation is. I mean, I don't want to yell and scream, obviously, at her that she can't sleep in our bed because that's not controlling myself or the situation, but if she's going to be adamant that she's sleeping in there too, is there a solution where I don't come off as giving in or overreacting and making myself look bad?
I think the problem with talking to MIL about her stopping paying the bill is that my W will put 2 and 2 together and figure out that we've been talking about everything and it will come out that way and under no circumstance is she comfortable with that knowledge coming out. She's been very supportive and given me a lot of advice, being a counselor herself, she always has good things to say and she's in no way taking sides.
The OM's W, I explained the situation to her and when I saw that she's had to deal with this several times before, and her saying that he always comes crawling back to her begging for her to take him back, I realized that she had no interest in doing anything other than sitting back and waiting for it to end. So, really, I didn't ask anything from her.
