New and Needing Advice (Long)

[DownNotOut...yet]

I think when they talk about secrecy, they mean do her parents know? Do your friends know...and the big one, does the OM's wife know? Is OM married? Sometimes outing the OP is all it takes to end this stuff.

BTW with consequences you want to try to avoid making it a tit for tat situation. If you do this I'm going to do that. You want it to be where she sees that if she chooses a certain path she will bring x and y upon herself. The difference is subtle. I am not explaining it very well but it seems this is a part of your game plan that needs improving,sheesh, newbies ;-) Hopefully someone will come along lower down and explain it better.

Hang in there.