Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
Soleil - i have been on fence about IC, probably more afraid than anything....remember i am a man...i am a fixer, i don't look to the outside to fix things for me. What kind of IC should i look for? don't know where to even begin.
I am so sorry!
it's Know What I Mean! lol
You should definitely try IC.. I am a fixer too and I went on my third session last night and I feel so good. Although she knows that I want to save my marriage, her main concern is that I get MYSELF back on track and be the best I can be because although she will support my decision to save my marriage, she believes that my self worth and self respect is number 1!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
i was never much of a texter - until i saw 300+ texts from W and OM....then i became very knowledgable about them....well at least checking the cell record (in my name no less)
going to try to do some research on IC around here and see what i come up with.
well either way....think i am going to take the week-end off from the boards and enjoy my "whole" family again.
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
i was never much of a texter - until i saw 300+ texts from W and OM....then i became very knowledgable about them....well at least checking the cell record (in my name no less)
going to try to do some research on IC around here and see what i come up with.
well either way....think i am going to take the week-end off from the boards and enjoy my "whole" family again.
Okay! Good luck okay!
M: 32 H: 34 S:5 D: 3 D: 1 Together 11 years Married 7 Bomb: PA/EA 8/13/09 (for 1 year on and off) ILYBINILWY: 08/09
"The end of suffering happens with the end of wanting." -Laura Munson
i have been on fence about IC, probably more afraid than anything....remember i am a man...i am a fixer, i don't look to the outside to fix things for me. What kind of IC should i look for? don't know where to even begin.
Don't worry about it. Even Tony Soprano went to see an IC! LOL!
We all having our breaking point where we need to reach out for help. I wish I had done so LONG before I did in my sitch. Might have even prevented the whole thing from happening. But no, I had to be a MAN, keeping it all inside, telling myself I could handle it.
Think about it. Consider talking to an IC a step of growth toward being a better partner to your W.
Some advice though. If you don't get a good vibe talking with one IC, try another one, and keeping doing that until you find one you really click with. Then you can make real progress. I went from dreading going to IC to looking forward to it once I found the right one for me.
W and i are doing pretty good, she is trying very hard to do "little" things to rebuild our R. I have been much more open and listening to what she is saying. I am continuing my self improvements by reading and still running - getting lots of compliments on how well i am looking these days.
i still struggle daily with knowing she was intimate with another man, but not as rough as it was in the begining. The biggest down side from this struggle is that i sometimes detach if you will.....which she notices and thinks i am pouting like i "used" to before all this went down....really i am not pouting, perhaps still hurting....who knows.
i personally am amazed that i have not had my face-to-face encounter with OM yet...truely unbeleiveable that it has not happened...but it will.
anyhow just updating a bit - still might keep my distance from the site for a while, seems like reading all these situations keep slightly re-opening my own wounds....but is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Gman
M-37 W-36 S-11, S-9, D-4 PA exposed 3/13/10 10/19/10 moving on... most up to date sit
If dude is going to fight you, its probably good for those wounds to be fresh. If you are going to be cool and unaffected around him, its better for the wounds to be closed.
