She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

I won't stop her from seeing them.

Of course not. Encourage the kids to be with their mom. This is good parenting.

Know it's killing her that I'm not the way she assumed I was going to be.{/quote]
Don't bank on this. They have a very strong way of rationalizing their behavior. You may do or say something and she'll warp it as if it's the old you coming back and you haven't changed at all. Been there, experienced that.

[quote=tbart01]This picture she painted in her mind of how I would be is now void.

It's not void. Believe me, it's alive and kicking. If it was void she wouldn't be acting the way she is. Again, they have an uncanny way of rationalizing, re-writing, exaggerating, embellishing. Anything to support their decision and direction.

I'm at the house alone taking care of my daughters, which is something that for some reason she didn't think I could do. I'm maintaining my composure and my control.

lol. I probably wrote that first line multiple times in my threads. They will think you are helpless and worth very little with taking care of business at home. Keep doing what you're doing with your D's. But do it because you want to be the best dad you can be, and a responsible parent. The kids need one parent to be the rock they cling to. That's YOU.

Does the WAW sort of pass a point of no return in there mind?

Some do, some don't. No one can predict it. Just know this, she will be past it, then she won't. Her feelings and behavior will move all over the map. You're job is not to get caught up in her erratic motion.

The way she expected t be and act has already backfired.

It only backfires when you become solidly the man you want to be. Even then, she might not even validate it. My W couldn't see me for the person I changed into. She still doesn't. It's almost like I'm invisible. Near the end of the sitch she had nothing that was less than a year old to throw in my face. Now that stuff is two years old. But you see, if she acknowledged the changes how could she possible rationalize the path she has taken? She still sees me as the old me. Granted, she has her own issues she won't deal with. But that's her cr@p and has nothing to do with me. My job is ME. Her job is her.

You can tell she wants to come home, but she can't or wont.

Even if she tells you this you can't be 100% sure. Take your mind off it. This is hers and not yours to deal with.

She doesn't sleep and her stomach is a wreck. All things that she's causing to herself.

Good. One of the good things about being physically separated is the WAS isn't constantly looking at you and running her BS through her head about how 'bad' you are. There comes a point where their own stuff comes to the forefront and they either deal with it or they don't.

Everyone we know is confused at her actions, and angry as well. Do I call her out on walking out on her family?

I wouldn't call her out on this...yet. She has told you two weeks. See where it goes. See if she wants to extend it. She won't be very receptive to you telling her. You are the last person she wants criticism from. Hopefully there are people in her life that will call her on it. She'd be more receptive to that.

Where do I draw the line on what I can question or call her on? Others have asked her if she has someone else, do I ask?

You don't ask if she has someone. One of the things you need to show her is you are a strong man and you aren't concerned with what she is doing. If you find STRONG evidence, and notice I emphasized strong, then you call her on it. But you cannot be vague or have gut feeling, or weak evidence. It will backfire.

The line for questioning or calling her on it - only things that are inappropriate. If she disrespects you, you call her on it. Your boundaries are important. Keep your dignity and self respect. Work on that.

If she keeps pushing off her time away, then you may want to call her on that. But you'll cross that bridge if you get to it.

I would give her the space she is asking for. Sometimes if you give them enough rope.....

One thing I like to remember:

Sometimes you get what you want and find out it isn't really what you wanted. Sometimes you get what you don't want, but find out it's exactly what you needed.