Pandora...the only cautionary note I can give you about this forum is that there IS a danger: getting trapped in denial. Get that book by Gray and simply learn to recognize what that is. He has a great chapter on it.
Fear and denial are powerful emotions that are destructive to you. For some, a divorce is a failure...a loss...another nail in a coffin. Many want/need to have others stay as companions to avoid the truth.
You need to play a game of Twister now. Keep one foot in reality, one hand on hope, the other foot on change and the other hand on your heart.
You will get through this one way or another and you WILL be OK. Grieve the change in your marriage and let go of trying to do something to 'save it'. You can't. Common saying here: the only things you can control are your attitude and actions.
DB for you. Do things for you. Choose actions for you and none that are to try and bring about a reaction in your H Focus on family. Get busy living.
The people that I have seen here that have saved their marriages or are in piecing....are those that 'let go of the rope' and went on with their lives. Their S's had total pressure removed and began to see what they were going to lose.
Hang in.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
