Show of hands - expose or not - success stories

[saffie]

I do not believe in divorce, it's a religion thing, it's a commitment thing, it's my belief system, I'm a fighter. I do not break promises. Period.

Very admiral passenger. I think most M's start out that way. However if your H is having an exit A none of this matters.

I wanted your reply to be about what was good in your H and your life when he was involved in it in a positive manner. Frankly your reply makes me think that you almost treat your M as a competition - whose going to win....if you win and it's on the wrong footing you get the booby prize me thinks.

Before you find out he's cheating decide what you are going to do if he is - otherwise don't bother even finding out - just live your life.

As for the children - they aren't stupid, they just want a quiet balanced home life where there are parents to support them and run them around.

Your IL's although supportive, sound like they are being made ill by it all.

I don't know what I believe about MLC - I think I have said this before. Most of us have some sort of transitional crisis at some point, I just think how we all deal with it differs. Many just think they can off load responsibility and go back to acting like teenagers whilst others around them pick up the pieces, (like your H maybe), whilst others just become emotionally unavailable/depressed, and others just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get on with life.

It's easy to get sucked into the drama of another's crisis - and infact I think the person having the crisis can enjoy that - enjoy seeing the power they have; personally I would avoid being seen to react to your H's sitch.

If your going to get intel, decide what you are going to do with it. Go see OW in person, (at her home with her H there preferrably) with the children in tow? Show her what she will be breaking up? What? What are your boundaries? Personally I wouldn't bluff it just in case you are making a big mistake. Your H could be sleeping in his car to wind you up - or dossing down with someone you wouldn't suspect - like a work mate. Get your facts straight.

Did I miss it or did you ever get an answer to the Retro question? (Either from your H or about a refund from Retro) Did you make it a clear and concise question to your H?

Just as an aside - when you told your H you didn't want him seeing OW, you didn't say at the same time to him that you realised you couldn't control that though......did you?