Happy Bomb-aversary to Me!

[cat04]

Wow, Seeking, I was just briefly discussing this with someone the other day.

Detatching becomes our safety net. Why?

Because once we learn how to do it, and we learn to appreciate what it has done for us, it becomes easier to get to that place or not want to leave it.

Is it really the best place to be?

With our MLCers, I do believe the answer is yes. Even when they say they want to come back, there has to remain a healthy distance for a long while. Because they aren’t ready for there not to be and if we are honest with ourselves, neither are we. With them, it is something that has to really be slowly undone.

With other people, family members, friends, new R, unless the other person’s behavior is extremely destructive to us, then I would say no, it isn’t healthy in the long run or even fair to the other person. However, you will find it happening.

That is where trust begins to enter the picture. Communication skills that hopefully we have improved through our own journey. Old fears may rear their ugly heads. It is then up to us to redeal with those things, hopefully not taking anywhere near as long as it did in the past. This is when it is time to really apply all that we have learned.

It is another period of retraining ourselves. To be open to taking the risks again. To allow the baby steps to be ours. To remember to be patient with ourselves. To really have our eyes open, not just to what others are doing, but to ourselves. Especially to ourselves, what we are doing and how we are feeling. It is hard. I will tell you it can be very hard and very scary. It is necessary though.

TF, just remember who you are, what you have learned. And be open to more learning and growing. You are ready for what ever comes next for you.