I agree with TTA. Do not initiate any contact with your W. I, like you, has been cheated on by my W with one of my best gym mates, him and his family even came on holiday with us two years ago. I suspected it was him when he stopped coming to the gym and stopped calling me as well.
I have two children and this has been going on for sixteen months. Over those months I received fantastic advice which I didn't always follow, though when I read my posts from then now, they make so much sense.
We are in a daze ourselves, cannot make a decision without a second opinion, rollercoaster days, wondering what your W is doing (all the worst things) usually.
For what is is worth I have gone totally dark on my stbxw. I do not answer any of her texts, which is the only way she contcts me, unless it is through solicitors. She initiates texts to be confrontational and I ignore them, simple, no reason to get involved in a wasteless excercise.
As Kimmie has said to you I am sure it angers her. The thing I am still learning is to totally detach. Puppy Dog Tails told me I am still enmeshed in her. I agree, as some of my actions pertain to what sort of reaction she moght have and what she might think, rather than decisions based on what is best for my children and I.
As tough as it is, DB, GAL and live YOUR life as you see fit. Let her wallow in the mess she has caused, let her see and hear you are getting on with your life just fine. As somebody told me, why would you want to be with somebody that treats you like this? Would you allow a neighbour or colleague to treat you this way?
I still have feelings for my W, and a close friend asked me if I would take her back. A part of me says yes, but if she can do this to me and the children, then I would say 'No'.
There is somebody out there that would love me and me to love back, but I am not rushing, I am just concentrating on the children and me.
Try and keep the moral highground in your dealings with your W and treat her like a work colleage - business like.
If you feel that her adultery is not a dealbreaker for you then let her affair run it's course. As Kimmie has said, she is cake-eating, as it is great for her ego. Don't fall for it and take it day by day, I am living proof it does gey better, even though I did not believe it would.
Good luck and keep posting.
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
