Venting..... He has the balls to tell me that we shoudln't be enemies - we have too much history not to get along. We don't have to be friends but we have alot in common so there's no reason we can't get along despite our differences..... PUKE. HISTORY... REALLY... we didn't have enough history for him not the have an affair, walk out on the marriage or even TRY one ounce of work to save the marraige... but we have enough history to get along.... WTF IS THAT??? I freaked out - was sobbing in tears. Where does he get off being that way?? I can't stand the crazy world he lives in - we have so much history we should at least salvage civility. He's an F*ing moron.......
I hear ya.I went through such friggin' nonsense about 6 weeks after divorce and I was just waiting for the opening when it finally arrived. From my posting that day:
I arrived to find her sitting at a table twittering and texting away. She looked up:
X: Hi, Gardener! G: Hi, what's up? X: Nothing, really. G: (sitting down) I'm not sure I understand. X: Well, since you had said once in the Mediator's office that you wanted to still be friends, I thought it would be nice to...start. G: (Pause) I think you misunderstood. You had used the word "civil" and I said I hated that word but I would always act friendly and polite. ACT friendly. X: Surprised. Silence. G: X, you ended our friendship. The way I view it, if any friend - (citing three of mine:) friend 1, friend 2, or friend 3 - any friend demonstrated to me - proved to me - that their word, their promise, their commitment, let alone vow, was meaningless, worthless, I would consider that friend to have ended our friendship at that point. You ended our friendship many times in many ways throughout this. You've made it clear that you are no longer my friend and I don't want to be yours. X: Well, um, I guess I certainly misunderstood that.(coversation @ mediator's) G: I'll act friendly and polite if we find ourselves at a family function or something. Friendly and respectful. X:(some kind of mumbled comment which felt like a "how big of you" sarcasm.) I ignored it, smiling. G: X, friends don't do the things you've done. X: Alright. I'm going to leave! I didn't come here to get beaten up. G: I'm not beating you up, just answering your question. I'm done.Goodbye.
Originally Posted By: Talia
On the better side - I've had several very good dates and that has been fun. I'm truly ready to be with someone else - REALLY looking forward to it. Just need to get this pesky divorce out of the way. Plan: Get H to sign the papers by letting him think I'll do what he wants. As soon as papers are signed/processed serve him with D papers that I am currently having prepared. See him in mediation.....
I'm SO ok with this plan!
Good plan. Although, for me, dating is going to be quite a way off in the future. Just my preference for my healing and comfort.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
